Author: Mel WAGENAAR
Educational Psychologist, Teacher and Mother, South Africa
As a psychologist, teacher and parent, I’m excited to share three effective ways you can bond with your baby and support their brain development. The best part is that these methods don’t require any special tools or purchases.
In the first three years of life, especially the first year, your baby’s brain is developing at an incredible pace. Their brain forms about 700 new connections per second during this critical period. This rapid development shapes sensory pathways, language skills, and cognitive abilities. That’s why it’s so important for you, as a parent, to be present, attuned, and responsive in your interactions with your little one. Here are three simple techniques to try:
- Talk to Your Baby
Even if your baby doesn’t understand you yet, chatting with them is incredibly beneficial. Try these approaches:
- Narrate your day: Describe what you’re doing as you go about your tasks, like a play-by-play commentator.
- Use “parentese”: Speak in a sing-song, rhythmic way with exaggerated facial expressions and a higher pitch.
- To make talking more engaging and fun:
- Use a wide range of vocal tones, pitches, and rhythms to keep your baby engaged.
- Sing songs, nursery rhymes, and lullabies to your baby – the melody and cadence captivate them.
- Incorporate body motions and facial expressions to make the “conversation” more interactive.
- Pause and wait for your baby to coo or babble back, then respond to continue the “dialogue.”
Research shows that babies who are talked to more often develop stronger language skills by age 3 and perform better academically in school.
- Give Baby a Massage
Gentle massage can be just as calming and regulating for your baby as using a pacifier. Incorporate it into your daily routine:
- During tummy time
- Before bedtime
- While changing diapers or clothes
To make the massage more engaging and fun:
- Use gentle, circular motions on your baby’s arms, legs, back, and tummy.
- Narrate what you’re doing – “Now I’m massaging your soft little hand.”
- Incorporate toys or smooth objects like a small plush animal for your baby to feel.
- Make eye contact and smile at your baby throughout the massage.
- Turn it into a playful “body part” game – “Where’s your nose? There it is!”
Massage can be both stimulating and relaxing, and it works whether your baby is calm or fussy.
- Mirror Your Baby
Mirroring involves imitating your baby’s actions and expressions. This technique promotes attunement and reciprocity in your relationship. You can practice mirroring:
- During playtime
- While changing diapers or clothes
- In a “copycat” game when your baby is a bit older (around 7-9 months)
To make mirroring more engaging and fun:
- Match your baby’s facial expressions, sounds, and body movements precisely.
- Take turns initiating movements and expressions in a call-and-response style.
- Exaggerate your motions and sounds to make the game more animated and fun.
- Incorporate simple games like peek-a-boo or pat-a-cake into your mirroring.
- Praise and clap when your baby “copies” you to reinforce the interaction.
Mirroring encourages eye contact, playfulness, and smiling – all of which contribute to secure attachment and brain development.
These three techniques – talking, massaging, and mirroring – can be done anywhere, anytime, without any special equipment. They engage your baby’s senses through sound, touch, and sight, strengthening your bond. Just be sure to pay attention to your baby’s cues to avoid overstimulation.
Here are some helpful parenting resources on promoting bonding and early brain development:
Books
- What every parent needs to know: A psychologist’s guide to raising happy, nurtured children by Dr Margot Sunderland
- Brain Rules for Baby by John Medina
- Brain-body parenting: how to stop managing behaviour and start raising joyful, resilient kids by Mona Delahooke
- Nurturing natures: attachment and children’s emotional, sociocultural and brain development by Graham Music
All of the above books are available in the Hong Kong public libraries:
Apps:
- Wonder Weeks – Explains baby’s cognitive leaps and offers tips
- Kinedu – Personalized activities and insights for child development
- Baby Sparks – Daily play-based activities for brain development
The key is finding resources that resonate with your parenting approach and align with your family’s needs. Exploring a variety can help you feel empowered and confident in supporting your child’s growth and development.
These strategies and resources can be shared with all the family members so that everyone who takes care of young children is included – this includes grandparents, siblings and domestic helpers. By including these simple strategies into the daily routine, and improving knowledge and skills, your young child will build strong connections with their caregivers and also develop a strong foundation in these important early years.
I will leave you with a quote from Dr. Ross Thompson, Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Davis and President of the Board of Zero to Three, who writes: “Nurturing, responsive relationships within the family lay the groundwork for a child’s lifelong mental health and learning. When parents, grandparents, siblings and other loved ones engage in back-and-forth interactions, they don’t just build bonds – they are actively sculpting the architecture of the developing brain. This family-centred approach is key to giving every child the best start in life.”
