Author: Mel WAGENAAR
Educational Psychologist, Teacher and Mother, South Africa
Mention the word “chores” alongside “small children,” and many people express horror and dismay, fearing a return to the dark days of child labour reminiscent of the Industrial Revolution when young children were often forced into harsh labour conditions, such as working in coal mines, where their small size made them suitable workers.
In modern households, a backlash against this legacy has resulted in many children being exempt from any responsibilities that resemble labour. However, I challenge this trend in my educational psychology practice, advocating for age-appropriate chores from the toddler stage onward. Engaging children in household tasks instils good work habits early on and fosters a sense of pride and satisfaction in a job well done.
It can also foster positive work habits and a strong work ethic in the classroom. Many academic skills are developed through consistent practice—repeating similar tasks daily until they become second nature. For example, consider how children learn sight words in reading or memorize multiplication tables in math.
Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, emphasized the significance of early childhood experiences in shaping personality. He noted that “love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.” By nurturing both love and a sense of purpose, parents can help toddlers grow into well-rounded individuals who feel connected to their home and community. Young children need love to feel secure, but they also benefit from participating in simple household tasks, which helps them develop responsibility, belonging, and a sense of achievement.
Addressing Modern Challenges: Today’s families face several challenges that contribute to children being exempt from chores:
- Busy Schedules: Many families have hectic lifestyles, with parents working long hours and children involved in numerous extracurricular activities, leaving little time for chores.
- Changing Parenting Styles: The shift towards more permissive parenting focuses on enriching experiences rather than assigning household responsibilities, leading to a lack of emphasis on chores.
- Technological Advancements: The rise of technology, such as robotic vacuums and laundry services, has reduced the need for traditional chores, making it easier for families to delegate responsibilities.
- Educational Focus: In Hong Kong, many parents prioritize academic achievement over household tasks, believing that children should focus on studies rather than chores, which can lead to a lack of participation.
Furthermore, many families in Hong Kong employ domestic helpers to manage household chores, which can significantly reduce the responsibilities assigned to young children. This reliance on helpers can have several effects:
- Reduced Chore Participation: With helpers handling tasks like cleaning and cooking, children often miss opportunities to engage in chores, limiting their understanding of responsibility and teamwork.
- Less Learning Experience: Chores are valuable learning opportunities that teach children organization and time management. The presence of helpers may mean that children are less involved in these formative activities.
- Shifted Family Dynamics: The reliance on helpers can alter family dynamics, as children spend less time working alongside parents or helpers, reducing bonding opportunities through shared tasks.
- Increased Focus on Academics: With chores taken care of, parents may prioritize academic enrichment and extracurricular activities, potentially neglecting the life skills learned through everyday chores.
- Potential for Entitlement: Children may develop a sense of entitlement if they are not expected to contribute, which can affect their understanding of hard work and cooperation.
While helpers provide essential support for busy families, it’s crucial for parents to find ways to involve their children in age-appropriate chores. This fosters a sense of responsibility and connection to home. Encouraging toddlers to help with simple tasks can teach them the value of contribution within the family, promoting confidence and independence.
Age-Appropriate Chores: To assist parents in involving their children in chores, here’s a straightforward guide that allocates chores based on the child’s age.
For 2-Year-Olds:
- Picking up toys after playtime.
- Wiping small spills with a damp cloth.
For 3-Year-Olds:
- Sorting laundry by colour or type.
- Feeding pets with supervision.
- Dusting low surfaces with a soft cloth.
For 4-Year-Olds:
- Setting the table before meals.
- Watering indoor plants with a small watering can.
- Putting away non-perishable grocery items.
- Making their bed with assistance.
For 5-Year-Olds:
- Sweeping up crumbs with a small broom.
- Sorting and placing silverware after washing.
- Helping with simple meal prep tasks.
- Organizing books on shelves or in bins.
- Taking out small trash bags with supervision.
Empowering children from a young age is crucial for their development. When parents allow their children to participate in age-appropriate tasks, they not only foster a sense of competence but also instil important life skills. This transition involves helping parents understand that children thrive on challenges and learn through experience. By engaging in chores and responsibilities, children develop problem-solving abilities, resilience, and a strong sense of self-worth.
When children are involved in household tasks, they learn the significance of teamwork and the importance of their role within the family. This foundation lays the groundwork for their future interactions in school and society, where collaboration and responsibility are essential.
Through open discussions and practical strategies, I guide parents in my educational psychology practice to embrace a more proactive approach. Instead of shielding their children from tasks, I encourage them to create an environment where children feel empowered to help, explore, and learn. This shift not only benefits the children but also strengthens family bonds and cultivates a nurturing atmosphere where everyone contributes to the household. Ultimately, by recognizing and nurturing their children’s capabilities, parents can help shape confident, independent, and responsible individuals who are well-prepared to navigate the complexities of the world.
