The Meaning of Parenthood

A: Feeling guilty is a common emotional state, but dwelling on it doesn’t help. Instead, focus on making positive changes within the limited time you have. You might miss spending time with your child while at work, but without work, you might miss the sense of fulfillment it brings. Therefore, maintain a positive mindset and cherish every moment: concentrate on completing tasks while at work and return home promptly to spend quality time with your child.

A: When parents feel guilty, they are indeed more likely to indulge their children, but doing so could mean missing out on important opportunities for discipline, which is not advisable. Schools and society have basic behavioural norms, and if a child lacks boundaries and doesn’t understand appropriate behaviour from a young age, they may struggle to integrate into group settings in the future. Humans are social creatures, and a child who lacks friends or playmates may find it difficult to grow up happily.

A: Once a child is born, families can gradually establish routines, such as meal and sleep times. Young children can understand that life has a rhythm. You can guide them to follow rules through play, such as developing the habit of tidying up toys. You could turn it into a game by racing to see who can tidy up the fastest or the most. As children slowly learn appropriate behaviours, this also becomes a form of discipline.

A: It can be, but it shouldn’t be used frequently, as it may have negative effects. It depends on the severity of the situation. For example, if a young child is running around with a sharp object, potentially causing harm to themselves or others, parents need to stop them immediately, ask them to put down the object, and sternly reprimand them. Afterwards, you could read a related story or news article together to help them understand the seriousness of the consequences.

A: Parents need to learn to take care of themselves before they can care for their children. Maintain a healthy diet, get enough sleep, and keep up with exercise. Set aside 15 minutes or half an hour each day for “Me Time.” Your child will need your time primarily during the first ten years; after adolescence, the time spent with you will gradually decrease, which is a natural process. Cherish these golden ten years.

A: Children also like to have a say in things. If they are given too much control when young, they might become domineering as they grow up; conversely, if they are overly obedient, they may lack initiative. Therefore, fostering independence should be done in stages:

• Infancy: Parents should lead by example, demonstrating initiative in both work and family life.
• Toddler years: Encourage children to follow parental guidance while explaining the reasons behind decisions, helping them to understand and learn.
• Early childhood: Engage in discussions with your child, arranging activities based on their preferences while incorporating parental judgment.
• Adolescence: Listen more to your child’s thoughts, teaching them to analyse situations and gradually make independent decisions.

To cultivate independence, it is crucial to help children “set goals” and “develop intrinsic motivation,” making them aware that they are responsible for their successes and failures. This understanding encourages them to act judiciously and manage tasks according to their abilities. Parents should avoid taking credit for their child’s achievements or compensating for their mistakes. Allowing children to learn from errors early on broadens their growth path. It’s vital for parents to instill correct values and character in their children, so that by adolescence, they can choose good friends, value themselves, and strive for their future.