Author: Annie NG
Speech and Language Therapist
When children play, there is probably one main thing they are after – FUN! But when we observe children in their play, we are probably hoping that they get more than fun out of their play time – we want to be able to observe that they are actually learning while having fun as well. And when we observe that there is ‘not enough learning’ going on in their play, we tend to, or at least want to, intervene; we might find ourselves looking for that delicate balance between child-led and parent-led play.
While child-led play and parent-led play may seem too different, the two play approaches can actually complement each other.
What is child-led play and what are some of its benefits?
In child-led play, your child directs and leads in the play activity. Your child plays an active role in creating their own rules and play experiences. Following your child’s lead allows them to following their natural interests in play. Children, especially the younger ones, are often told what to do all day, e.g. what to do and where to do it. They have limited opportunities to take the lead. But when they are given time each day to make their own decisions in a safe environment such as in play, it helps them to feel more independent and confident in their own abilities.
What is parent-led play and what are some of its benefits?
Parent-led play, also called, carer-led or adult-led play, is where the parent takes an active role in guiding and directing their child’s play activity. This style of play can be beneficial for parents who are looking for more structure and predictability when teaching their child skills in play. Although this is a parent-led approach, the child’s engagement and interests should always be considered when designing play activities. Parents should also consider the child’s developmental stage and how regulated they are on a given day to adjust the duration or the intensity of parent-led activities.
How might the two play approaches look like in real life?
Let’s imagine a parent-led play scenario with blocks:
In a parent-led play approach, the parent takes a more directive role in guiding the child’s play. They may choose a set of blocks with a specific design or theme and instruct the child to follow the provided instructions step by step. The parent may demonstrate how to build the structure or even build it themselves while the child watches. The child is encouraged to help by following direct instructions, e.g. ‘Yes, put it next to the blue block. Now the red block goes on top of it’. The focus is primarily on following the parent’s guidance and replicating the predetermined design. The parent may offer suggestions for colour choices or help troubleshoot when the child encounters difficulties. The play experience is more structured and goal-oriented, with the parent leading the way and the child following instructions.
Now let’s imagine a child-led play scenario with blocks:
In a child-led play approach, the parent sets up a designated play area with a variety of blocks and allows the child to explore and create freely. The parent observes the child’s interests and actions without intervening too much, at least initially. The child begins by selecting a few block pieces and starts building a structure, such as a tower or a car. They may experiment with different shapes, colours and sizes of blocks, using their imagination to construct and modify their deisgn. The parent actively engages with the child by following their lead. They might say things like, ‘I wonder what I could make with these blocks!’, or ask open-ended questions like, ‘What are you building there?’. They provide support and encouragement, but the child remains in control of the play process, deciding what to build, how to build it, and when to modify or reimagine their design.
In the child-led play scenario, the child has the freedom to explore their creativity, problem-solving skills and imagination. They have the autonomy to make decisions about how the blocks can be used. The parent’s role is one of support and facilitation, allowing the child to take the lead and express their ideas. This approach may cause parents to feel like they have less control over the learning of the child, but it promotes independence, self-expression and the development of critical thinking skills.
In contrast, the parent-led play scenario puts more emphasis on following instructions and replicating a predetermined design. While there may still be opportunities for creativity within the given guidelines, the child’s autonomy and decision-making are limited. The play experience is focused on achieving a specific outcome or building a particular structure. Parent-led play may offer structure and direct guidance, but it may also limit the child’s freedom to explore and create independently. Both approaches have their merits and can be incorporated into playtime with your child.
How can parents balance child-led and parent-led play approaches?
Consider the following when balancing both play approaches:
- Your child’s age and developmental stage:
Younger children often benefit from more child-led play, as it allows them to explore their surroundings and develop their imagination. Older children might be ready for a mix of child-led and parent-led play, where structured activities can help enhance their skills and knowledge.
- Your child’s unique preferences:
Every child is unique and their play preferences may vary. Some children may naturally gravitate towards more independent, child-led play activities, while others may enjoy more structured activities and guidance from parents. Observe your child’s play behaviours and interests. Notice when they are engaged and absorbed in their play, and when they might benefit from your involvement or guidance. Respond to their cues and needs accordingly to provide an appropriate balance between moments of child-led and parent-led play.
- Your child’s learning objectives:
Consider the learning objectives or developmental areas you want to focus on. Parent-led play can be used to target specific skills, such as fine motor skills, problem-solving or social interactions. Align the parent-directed activities with your child’s needs and areas of growth while still allowing room for their independent exploration.
- Encouraging your child’s autonomy where possible:
Involve your child in the decision-making process. Talk to them about their preferences, ask for their ideas and collaborate on the types of play activities they would like to engage in. This helps foster a sense of ownership and autonomy while maintaining a healthy balance between child-led and parent-led play.
Finding the right balance between the two play approaches is a dynamic process that may require a period of trial and error. Be aware of the considerations above and be willing to modify each play episode as necessary. The goal is to create a nurturing and enriching play environment that supports your child’s overall development and well-being.
In the next article, we will continue the discussion of child-led play and other aspects of its application.
